I have recently come to an interesting time in my life. My daughter, Kaydie, is the youngest in our family. She is
now sixteen years old and driving. What an exciting time! I enjoy watching her get comfortable with this new
experience in her life and the challenges and freedom that she is gaining through the process. We now have
some very strict laws in California with regards to our young drivers. The pressure that she receives from her
peers is a new burden that she has to work through. She is choosing to abide by the laws and not drive her
friends around this small town. It appears that many of our youth have made the decision to risk the safety of
their passengers and driving privileges for the opportunity to take their friends out for a drive. I am very proud of
the choices my daughter is making in her life. She truly enjoys and respects her newly acquired freedom.
For all of Kaydie’s life, we have commuted to school five days a week. When we relocated to Truckee nine years
ago we also began the bi-monthly commute to Sacramento on Friday evenings to meet her father for the
weekend and again would meet Sunday evening to come back up to the mountains. Over the years, during
these times in the car, we have created many wonderful memories and had some very profound conversations.
When she was two and half or perhaps three years old we began to play the rhyme time game. This rapidly
became her favorite game in the world. We would not be in the car for more then one or two blocks and Kaydie
would announce: “MOM guess what time it is?” I would reply, “What time is it?” With a smile from ear to ear she
would giggle, “ITS RHYME TIME!!!!!” That would begin the game of rhyming words which lasted until we arrived
at our destination. She was good at creating her own words and defended their validity with great conviction.
As she grew older we would play the alphabet game; trying to get from A-Z by calling out the things we would
see along the way. The letters Q, X and Z can be a real challenge to find. The next stage was the era of the
handheld Game Boys. Suddenly, the journeys with my children became very quiet; with their ear phones in,
hands and eyes glued to their games. Kaydie always seemed to get bored easily with it and soon we would be
sitting close and just talking about things. Whatever came to her mind would become our topic.
For the past four and half years I have been driving Kaydie and her friends to school every morning. This has
always been a special time for chatting with the girls about classes, boys, homework and even family
frustrations. I really got to know them on a special level and cherished the mornings of yawns, giggles and
guessing the morning question on FM106.9.
Kaydie has been attending an acting academy in Reno since she was eleven years old. One or two nights a
week we would head to Reno for her two hour classes. In route we’d talk about our day’s events on the way
down then I’d hear all about her acting challenges and successes on the way home. Now, Kaydie is able to drive
to school and acting and dance classes. At first I thought that I would enjoy this new found freedom of time to do
some of the things that I have not been able to do in the past. In the beginning it seemed nice. I am now realizing
how very special those opportunities of driving her around really were. I miss her. I miss being able to hear all
about her day, her challenges and successes. I miss telling her about my day. I miss seeing her two friends that I’
ve grown very fond of seeing each morning and hearing about how they were doing or seeing them with an extra
bounce to their steps on those mornings they felt exceptionally pretty in their day’s carefully chosen outfits.
I am now beginning to see how families can grow apart from each other or lose track of what is going on in each
others lives. I find myself wondering how I will stay connected to my daughter while she is growing older and
discovering new people, places and things in her life. I started to grow fearful that I may lose the special bond I
have with her; merely, by not being needed to drive her places. My newly acquired freedom has come with
potentially a very high price to pay. Not having, what perhaps I may have taken for granted at times, the
opportunity to spend some of the most valuable moments with her in our travels.
I contemplated this new challenge for many days. One day the answers arrived for me, while I was brushing the
very thick and shedding coats of my horses. They came to me as: I am a team member of a very unique team;
one comprised of an Equine Specialist, a Horse and often a Therapist. What we do is to offer the unique
opportunity for individuals, families or team members to participate in an Equine Experiential Learning episode.
Here people are given the place and time to develop and enhance life skills like: communication, relationship
building and team work. I realized that I simply need to redefine the way I spend time with my daughter. Perhaps
it would be time grooming our horses or riding with her in the forest. Maybe it would be the time spent making
our dinner or doing the dishes. It could even be snuggling together in her bed for an afternoon of chick flicks! I
do know that it will be the time that I create deliberately. It will be times that I purposely engage with my growing
teen in conversations about what is going on in her life. Intentionally showing up, I’ll hear about what her dreams
and apprehensions are. It’s about showing her how to have and maintain healthy happy friendships while
continually growing and evolving in one’s relationships.
I believe that this is a new and exciting time for Kaydie and me. It is a time when we are both experiencing new
and exciting changes in our lives. Change is inevitable. This is fact. How we embrace the changes in our lives is
what determines the degree of joy that come from them. I believe I can embrace this time of change with
gratitude and grace, empowering my daughter, Kaydie and myself with the skills and techniques to create and
sustain a lasting loving and special bonding relationship.
I hope that all of us can allow the loved ones in our lives the time, the space and the support that is needed to
grow individually and in relationships. What a wonderful gift to give others, as well as to ourselves.
HeartSoul Media™ © April 2008
| Unity verses Separation
What is my Life Purpose? Have you ever asked yourself that question? If you have, I assure you, you are not
alone. I have pondered this question for as long as I can remember. It has driven me to explore many things in
this world. It has helped me to discover things that are not my purpose, as well as things that seem to fit into
what I thought may be my Life Purpose. I believe I am finally beginning to understand my Life’s Purpose.
When we come into this world as a newborn child, we are separated from our mothers as we exit the womb and
the cord is cut. We are now an individual in the physical world, fighting for our lives. Yet, we’re dependent upon
others though we’re still on our own. This appears to be the beginning of unity versus separation.
We begin the process of bonding with our family we however also begin to experience separation. At bedtime in
the hospital we are separated from our mothers and from other infants in the nursery. When we go home we are
separated from those who are strangers and those who our family may not like. As we grow up, we are taught to
strive for unity with some and separation with others. Boys from girls or bad kids from good kids and so on and
We are taught to strive for God’s love and to fear his separation based on our beliefs and our actions.
Everywhere we turn in our lives we can see examples of this happening. We find our hearts always seeking to
fulfill our desire of love, acceptance and unity. All the while fearing separation from those we love, the joys of life
and the comforts we have grown to depend upon. How then does one achieve their Life Purpose, the desire and
need to feel accepted and connected with others?
It hit me yesterday; what the meaning of ‘Life Purpose’ means to me. I would like to share it with you.
I believe that we all share the same Life Purpose. When we agree with our Father to incarnate into this life, we
agree to experience separation with our Source. It begins with us being born as a child into this world. As a
body, mind and spirit, many separations occur all at once and our journey of finding our way back to our Source
begins. Every experience we face is based on the one simple choice of unity or separation. We often are
choosing both at the same time. The examples are endless. I am separating from that group and now uniting
with this group. The basketball team versus the football team, the drama club versus the book club. Will I be
single or married? Will I be Buddhist or Christian? Will I be a Democrat or Republican? Every choice we make is
to fulfill our desires for unity and oneness.
I believe it begins within our self; our connecting with God, our creator, our higher self within. Every second and
minute of every day we are given the choice to fulfill our Life Purpose. We are choosing to be one with God and
with all his creations or we are choosing separation from each other, which creates separation from God, our
Source. When we feel alone, isolated and lost, we have, at least for that moment, chosen to exist in separation.
As we become aware of our Life Purpose, re-discovering unity with our Source, God, we begin to feel whole
within, experiencing peace in our heart and mind as our Purpose flows into our being. We begin to attract
people into our lives that are happy, content and supportive. Life begins to flow in the direction of our desires.
When our life becomes a struggle and we are feeling alone, we are simply making the choice to experience
separation for the time being. When we are ready to pause and choose again, choose to fulfill your Life
Purpose by choosing unity within your heart and to your true Source. Then feel the joy and peace magically
flowing through you again.
As individuals, choosing to live our Life Purpose, we are choosing to live in a world united as one, in a world
embodied with respect, peace, harmony and most of all love. What will you choose today?
HeartSoul Media™ © July 2008
|The Present Moment
This month I’ve been guided to explore the topic of being in the Present Moment. I am discovering this subject to be
extremely complex. The more I investigate this topic; I find there is even more that I’ve yet to understand. I’m going to
share with you some of my viewpoints regarding my ongoing discovery of being in the Present Moment.
Recently, I’ve been attempting to focus on where I place my attention or my time thinking. Is it the Past, the Present or in
the Future? Isn’t it amazing how automatic our thoughts become? I can deliberately put my awareness on the Present
Moment. I can begin to feel what that feels like only to find that I’m reflecting upon some previous conversation I’ve had or
something I’ve done. There are also times I catch myself pondering the Future; the dinner for later tonight, tomorrow, next
week or even the next holiday. At what point did I shift from being in the Present Moment to my mind wandering to the
Past or to the Future?
I embrace the viewpoint that your thoughts are the seeds for every creation we experience, whether positive or negative. At
this instance, the thoughts I am having are not only creating how I perceive the Present Moment but are also acting as the
seeds planted for my future creations. For example: Rondo, my horse and I are peacefully riding down the trail with my
thoughts being in the Present Moment. Suddenly, a deer jumps out from the underbrush near us and leaps off into the
distance. I’m instantly alert and braced for the expected “Rodeo Experience” (my horse spinning sideways, jumping, and
racing in the opposite direction). Why am I bracing for this reaction? Have I had a similar experience like this before?
Hmmmm! So I’m in the Present Moment, then in a split second, I get jolted into a reaction based upon my past experience.
Now Rondo definitely feels my reaction and if he has also endured a similar negative experience, together we could create a
real disaster. Instead, he calmly remained in the Present Moment which helped to bring me back to the same. I found myself
wondering; “How I might handle this in the future?” Tricky stuff, this living in the Present Moment!
I believe that to live in the Present Moment begins with the intention to do so. One must be willing to be aware of one’s
thoughts at all times. I am reminded by how I am either reacting or responding to my current experiences. If I’m reacting to
what’s going on around me, my horses are quick to mirror for me that I’ve either gone back to the Past or I’m projecting a
desire for the Future. Their mirror shows we’ve lost the previous Present Moment harmony by way of their acting up,
pulling away or resisting my directions to complete or perform certain tasks. Harmony has given way to a tug of war.
It is my viewpoint that we all flow from the Present Moment towards the Past, the Future or sometimes both. It takes the
desire and the will to be in the Present Moment Awareness. Through the focus of this month’s article, I believe we can
either support one another in remaining in the Present Moment or we can trigger each other into reactive behavior based
upon past experiences or stimulate desires to be somewhere in the future. For me, my horses are helping me to be right
here, right now. Additionally, they show me where I might be repeating experiences and behaviors through my clutching
onto my Past or craving for something in my Future.
Horses Helping Humans is an experiential learning process to assist in our becoming aware of being in the Present Moment.
It’s a course of action that helps show how we allow the experiences of our Past and desires to be in some Future
experience to dilute and detract from the beauty and perfection of our personal NOW. This moment, this now is all that
really matters. It is who we are, RIGHT NOW, that is the gift to ourselves and to one another.
Copyright © HEARTSOUL MEDIA-2006 All Rights Reserved
For more information please contact Cindy Hartzell at (530) 550-8929
Animal Intuitive Therapist, Certified Animal AMT, Reiki Master, Avatar Wizard, EAGALA Certified, PNH Level 1,